Maria von Trapp?

I think the people at my school want me to develope a multiple personality disorder. So far, on Christmas day alone, they have cast me as "the Mastermind" "Santa Claus" "the DJ" and most significantly, "Maria von Trapp". Yes, one of Julie Andrews' most famous roles. On the surface I could choose to take this as a compliment - and if I could actually sing without making people's ears bleed, I would take it as such.

They don't understand me when I say that they really, really don't want to hear me sing. They think I'm just being modest. Or that I'm too shy (pfft, obviously not). I've told that them that even my Mother thinks I'm an awful singer. I figured that pulling the "mother card" would work, because I'm fairly certain that it's a universal thing for mothers to think their kids are perfect. But even the mother thing didn't faze them. They just smiled and said with all the wisdom and calmness of Yoda, "trust yourself".

I still don't know how I'm gonna get out of this.

I mean, I'm more than happy to cross-dress and play the fat and jolly Father Christmas, isn't that enough?!